I hate duties

can't believe that I am currently blogging in camp, well as the title stated, I really hate duties... It is not the idea of doing one, but an idea of doing it alone, and in the midst of immense boredom, it gives me alot of room to think like an emotional creature...

I believe that most NSFs will agree with me, they can take shits coming their way, provided that someone is there to undergo the same amount of pressure and workload with them, however, duties are usually alone, and I hate it, like I had emphasised, its not the idea of doing it... but I really detest it when I have to walk a lonely road to the headquarters to return the keys, and spend the same load of time walking back to my bunk..

There is alot of time to think, and it really switches off one part of my brain and switches on the other, from a logical and efficient worker in the day, in a midst of a sudden, I gradually become an emotional creature, one that stops thinking rationally, one that bangs on the worst, one that keep thinking of his problems, with relationships, with life, rather than focusing on whats ahead...

I think that NS keeps man thinking, especially the more unfortunate ones like me, I would say, I really hate it, from the fact that I am slower than most people my age in entering the army... while they will be discussing about university projects, grades, getting girlfriends, getting a job and making their first million or buying their first car, I am still counting down to months to ORD... Its very sad, from the fact that my months to ORD are more than some of my friends' days to ORD... sad isn't it?

I begin to regret going to poly, but I jolly well know I can't do a shit to reverse my life, I'm stucked in an abyss, one which is stucked between the army and civillians... I find no point going on frequent nights out anymore, because it isn't fun doing it anymore.. it drains me and just remind me that booking out doesn't solve problems in the civillian world... I feel like doing one, but not both, but I can't..

I was given chances to go overseas for service of the nation, but my FFI fails me, I can't even concentrate going away for a year or two, to let things here stand the test of time..

I'm really afraid, to step out, to grow up, and learn that I have to do everything up to expectations, or whatever my brains can carry... I fear failure, I hate to fail, but I do not know how I can succeed without first failing.. I hate prejudiced eyes looking at my life, and judges who judge whether my life have been successful, whether I have been rich, owned a house, a sports car and a family of kids..

I was very reluctant to grow up when I learn that I was graduating, and now I hate it more, knowing that the reality is coming closer, and I can't seem to find a route for me to go about, I can't see the light which shines, I can't see the help which I needed, I can't comprehend how I will be like, how I will behave, how I will strive the way I had promised myself...

I'm really afraid, afraid of starting out, starting to do something, knowing that it will not turn out the way I hope it will in the end, but at the same time, I know that not starting is not going to do anything good to me....

Perhaps, I really need a time of get away, from this place, these people, those expectations, and go overseas for a year or two, so that it will mature my mind, to think rationally of what matters most, and what don't, and to let myself stand the test of time...

Now, I understand why NSF's hates extras so much..

FYP Presentation + Psch Gathering

Im so happy that FYP presentation is finally over... Muahhaahah I have nothing much to do in school already... Anyway.. some photos :D

Another thing, Psch gathering was uber fun... haha we had some really gay photos taken in highlanders... hmm

Gayness:D

Lady like pose.. haha

SEXAY!

Ok we are straight.. even if you dont believe it..

Alright I think its hard to believe that we are straight... haha songwriter's lap!

The Fingers spoilt the picture

Haha that sums up the night!!! very fun indeed :DDD

Brr

I guess I am kinda a gloomy person.... But well, the more you love something, the more you can get hurt by it...

Very hurt by the match score.. and very pissed off with the refs... its freaking 1 sided game with 7 vs 5 men and I hate it... but well, our team synergy and skills did not compensate in the lapse of game dynamics....

Well, nuff said, when I get to ref the matches of this two referees, I gonna have my revenge.. dont blame me at that point of time, blame yourself...

Now I understand why are there so many kayu refs... refs are human, they make mistakes.. yes, but sometimes, they make too much mistakes, that other refs arent happy with them, and when that happens, the whole world of refs become kayu... So Mr. G_____N _H_A, you watch out :D

On the good note, FYP presentation gonna be over in like 2 days time, and also... school will be over soon!

IMM

IMM!!! Haha... Went to Kai house for FYP... alright i wasnt really contributing.. probably due to being sick and all... well.. its an awesome time... after not having met them for like quite a while...

Anyway, yea we went IMM, and we went to the wan chai cafe.... not a bad place to eat some hong kong noodles... I tried the french toast and the yuan yang drink.. pretty alright...

Then... after that we went to Giant! And and and... yea its after 5pm.. so the Sushis are Yasui!!! hahahhahah... I always love sushi.. I still remembered they bought me sushi for my bday... ahhahha and also, during the genting trip i finished a few plates of sashimi and sushis.. Hahahaha

Ok Hospitality test tml... hope I wont do too badly.. Argh haven study!!

Time to work hard and not to slack!

O yasumi nasai!

Watashi wa byouki desu

Hmm, went to NUH for medical appointment.. I slept there on the couch for 2 whole hours before I was called up... My mum was engrossed with her 'U' Magazine that she din really disturb me.. Phew...

Woke up with a very bad throat and its' friends (read the previous post if you dont understand).. Anyway, the TCM din really work.. Shimatta... Anyway, my mum went to buy more TCM for me to eat...

When we reached home.. I started blabbering some nonsense.. Then I said 'Tadaima!', ahhahh I cant believe my mum responded... She knows some jap apparently.. Then I went.. Domo.. Totemo nemui desu...

Yeap after my sleep, I went to meet dannie, xing long and sheng ming to go to KRSS to book the floorball hall thingy... and nevertheless... we got rejected.. the price is extravagant I would say... ahah... then I went to buy a corn dog from cold storage... Ahhhh OISSHII! hahahah, after that.. we ate some desserts and played some floorball below my house... hahah woot... its quite nice... except we scratched some blades.. haha...

Alas... we went to buy some bubble tea.. and sat outside 7 eleven, and slacked while we drank.. Dannie was like spotting some girl in Pocker Dots bag.. and we were making fun of him when suddenly 3 ST Margs girls walked past.. and you know... ST Margs' uniform is pocker dots.. so you could imagine the scene.. hahah its hilarious...

Alright... needa get ready for prolly the last FYP meeting later !

Yay, I just thought of a game plan for this saturday... yeap.. Zensho Shimasu

私は今良い睡眠に行きます

Sick

I wonder why, everytime I am down with fever, or flu, or sore throat, the other 2 will come along...

Fever, Flu and Sore Throat seems to be very good friends...

They can't take me down singlehandedly therefore they always seek for assistance amongst one another..

I don't blame my white blood cells for being unable to fight back because of the immense viruses in my body... Ok well.... I skipped school today... because I am really sick...

On a good note, my bro initiated cooking noodles for me! hahaha thats like 1 in a million...

And also, he bought dinner!

Ok when I am well, I gonna rush out of the house and go walk walk..

hahha Anyone keen to go shopping?

Im so bored of school and home... I hope I can resume sports asap...

Anyone Onz for a swim or a jog at west area?

Tell me ok? :D

Joke

Its mysterically interesting that sometimes, the one you like do not like you, while the one you do not like, likes you, and what you want is not what you get while what you get is not what you want...

Life is interestingly uninteresting..

And the largest joke I have heard this whole week is: "Mel will die cute"

Hahahhah beat that.